


river running wild that will create

by terpsichorean



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Urban Fantasy, Canon-Typical Violence, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-25
Updated: 2015-08-25
Packaged: 2018-04-17 04:28:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4652226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/terpsichorean/pseuds/terpsichorean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eggsy had seen a lot of odd things in his life, but never something so strange as Knights of the Round Table fighting warriors of the fae.</p>
            </blockquote>





	river running wild that will create

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Noninimicus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Noninimicus/gifts).



> This doesn't really meet all the specifications of the prompt, but I hope you still enjoy it! This will probably end up being a small part of a much larger fic because I came up with lots of ideas.  
> Title is from Empire by Of Monsters and Men.

It was certainly the weirdest thing Eggsy had ever seen.

 

He had seen a lot of strange things walking home at night. He had walked past drug deals, robberies, and buskers just trying to make enough to buy a coffee. The most memorable one before this had been last December, passing a sad clown Santa on the sidewalk as if it were an everyday occurrence. Weird shit like that was why he usually tried to walk with friends at night, and why he never tried to have Daisy out after dark.

 

But they had gotten caught up today. The day had been bright, full of sunshine and not too warm. Eggsy had jumped at the chance to take Daisy out of the house, to be a normal older brother taking his sister out on a day trip. He had even broken out the fucking baby sling for the occasion.

 

And now they were late getting home. Which meant that, of course, the alley they were approaching started to steadily emit sounds of a scuffle.

 

Eggsy hoped that maybe he could just sneak by, ignoring the unmistakable sound of blows landing, followed by grunts of pain. Daisy was fast asleep on his chest for Christ’s sake. Besides, with his luck, it was probably Dean or his goons causing trouble.

 

And Eggsy was happy to believe that, until a giant flash of light blinded him, followed by deafening inhuman shrieking.

 

Eggsy hurried to the mouth of the alley, peaking around the wall to see inside. He stared, pinched himself, and stared some more.

 

It was a fight, sure enough. There were two men fighting five other figures, a pile of smoking fur smoldering on the ground nearby. It would’ve been fairly normal, considering the area, although the smell of burning fur was a new (and incredibly nauseating) addition. Yes, Eggsy usually wouldn’t have batted an eye at such a scene, probably would have been involved in it himself, except -

 

The two guys were wearing suits of armour. Like, knights-in-shining-armour, usually seen jousting or some bullshit in the movies. Eggsy half expected a dragon to pop out nowhere and start breathing fire all over everything.

 

And the other five figures weren’t much better. They looked like extras from Thriller, except with a hell of a lot more claws and razor sharp teeth. In all, it looked like a fucking renaissance faire was being attacked by a bunch of furries.

 

And they were fighting pretty viciously too. One of the furries (it looked some horrifying version of a Wookie) took a swipe at the nearest knight, knocking his head back. The knight responded by sticking a _giant fucking sword through the Wookie’s stomach Jesus Christ._

 

Eggsy flinched back, instinctively covering Daisy’s eyes although she was still sleeping (she really liked Chewie okay he didn’t really want to be responsible for years of therapy). But apparently the Wookie was stronger than Eggsy thought, because he just shrugged it off, ripping the sword out of the knight’s hand while it was _still stuck inside him_ and knocking the knight to the ground in one blow.

 

Eggsy could see that the other knight wasn’t doing much better, currently getting smacked around by something that looked like a praying mantis. The first knight started to pick himself up from the ground, before being shoved back to the ground by the Wookie stepping on his back. The Wookie growled, a deep rumble that made Eggsy’s hindbrain quiver in fear. The knight squirmed like a pinned insect, one hand scrabbling in the dirt as if trying to write a last message. The Wookie, still growling, removed a battle axe that would have looked more at home in the knight’s hand from his belt, before raising it above his head.

 

Eggsy became absolutely certain he was about to watch someone die.

 

He was moving before he even thought about. Sure, he’d seen a lot of weird shit but he’d never seen someone die, especially not in such a bloody way, and he wasn’t really looking forward to starting now.

 

Eggsy grabbed the closest weapon he could think of, his hand closing around the old rusty pipe laying abandoned just inside the alleyway. Then he wound up and swung as if the Wookie’s head was the ball and Eggsy was trying for a homerun.

 

The pipe connected with a wet _thwack_ and the Wookie crumpled like a wet paper towel.

 

The rest of the fight immediately stopped as everyone noticed Eggsy. The knight at his feet stared up at him, looking as if someone had walked over his grave.

 

Eggsy met his eyes, feeling a shiver go down his spine. The knight’s eyes were a warm brown which nevertheless seemed to pierce him to the bone. They were curiously familiar, like something he had seen in a dream, once upon a time.

 

A dangerous rumble tore Eggsy’s eyes away from the knight’s to the approaching Thriller rejects. They had seemed to decide that Eggsy was the biggest threat, which was ironic because he had never felt less threatening in his life. Eggsy tightened his grip on the pipe, drawing it back over his shoulder in preparation to swing.

 

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the knight still on the ground move his hand back to whatever he had been scribbling. The knight paused, an oddly triumphant look on his face, before pressing his palm to the ground.

 

Immediately, a bright glow flashed through the alley, followed by a rolling wave of heat. Eggsy squeezed his eyes shut, bending protectively over Daisy (and god how stupid had he been to get involved in something this dangerous with her strapped helplessly to his chest?). The squealing cries that had first drawn him to the alley sprang up around him, increasing in intensity as the light only grew brighter.

 

And just as suddenly as it began, it all stopped. Eggsy blinked away the dots lingering in front of his eyes, his ears ringing.

 

The alley was empty aside from the knights. All of the freaky animal people were gone, even the one Eggsy had hit. It was as if they had never been there.

 

“What the _fuck_?” Eggsy whispered, with the fervency that most reserved for prayer.

 

The knights exchanged glances before the taller one, the one Eggsy had saved, spoke. “While we appreciate your assistance sir, we really must be going. Have a good evening.” And with that, he turned toward the other end of the alley, his companion wheeling to follow him.

 

Eggsy stared. “Wait, really? That’s it? No explanation about the light show or evil Chewbacca or why the fuck you’re wearing fucking armour in the middle of South London?”

 

Both of the knights stopped and turned to face him. This time the shorter one spoke, haltingly, as if unsure of what he was saying. “You can see that?” He gestured at his armour and Eggsy didn’t miss the giant sword hanging off his hip, or the axe hanging from his other side. Neither of them really looked like people to be messed with, especially if they had managed to completely vaporize five other people in a second.

 

Well, no one had ever accused Eggsy of having a well developed sense of self preservation. “Yeah, ‘course I can, I’m not blind. So d’you mind telling me what’s goin’ on?”

 

The taller knight tilted his head, looking Eggsy up and down. “What’s your name?”

 

Eggsy felt like there was a weight pressing down on his chest, something screaming in the back of his mind not to answer. He pushed it aside. “Eggsy. You?”

 

The taller knight smiled pleasantly. Eggsy had never seen something so innocuous look so threatening. “My name is Galahad, and my companion is Percival. Charmed.”

 

Eggsy snorted. “Galahad. Like Quest for the Holy Grail, Galahad? Are you for real?”

 

Galahad (honestly, what the fuck) seemed very amused. “Quite.”

 

And, as if on cue, Daisy started to cry.

 

\----

 

“So what you’re tellin’ me is that fairies are real, so is King Arthur, and that they’re fighting each other. Oh, and global warming is happening because Arthur can’t get it up anymore. Does that about sum it up?”

 

Galahad was obviously fighting a smile, while Percival quietly sighed beside him. “Simply put, yes.”

 

Eggsy wasn’t sure exactly what possessed him to take these walking freak shows to his flat, other than the fact that he desperately wanted to get Daisy home and be on familiar territory himself. His mum had seemed unsurprised at their unexpected guest and their frankly ridiculous outfits (knights of the round table or not, full on armour - complete with chainmail - did not seem like a good choice for everyday clothing). Although, if Galahad was to be believed, not everyone could see that that’s what they were wearing.

 

“It’s called a glamour,” Galahad explained. “It allows us to project what we want mortals to see, not what we actually look like. To everyone other than you, we appear to be two men wearing bespoke suits and all the necessary accoutrements, not -”

 

“Huge swords and shiny metal?”

 

Galahad smirked. “Precisely.”

 

In any case, his mum had just absently taken Daisy, bussed a kiss on Eggsy’s cheek, and shuffled back to the bedroom, seemingly taking no notice of the two men accompanying him. Eggsy suspected some kind of Jedi mind trick was involved.

 

Now, they were all seated at the kitchen table, Eggsy nursing a beer and the other’s tea while Eggsy attempted to make sense of a world abruptly gone sideways.

 

He picked at the label on his bottle before looking back up at Galahad. He looked absolutely ridiculous, shining in the kitchen light like some kind of Christmas bauble. Eggsy desperately squashed the laughter bubbling in his chest, knowing it would probably come out slightly hysterical.

 

“So why can I see you like this?” he asked, gesturing at the two of them in their shiny metal glory.

 

Galahad frowned. “I’m not entirely sure, to be honest. But judging by your ability to see through powerful spells, and your instinctive use of iron against the fae -” ah, so that had been why Chewie had gone down so easily, he had been wondering about that - “I’d say it’s no coincidence we crossed paths.” Galahad met his eyes, suddenly looking very earnest. “I believe you’re very important Eggsy. And I believe we could use your help.”

 

Eggsy swallowed, ignoring the heat rising in his face. “And why should I help you?”

 

Galahad spread his hands. “Other than saving the world?” He leaned forward, his eyes boring into Eggsy’s. Again, there was that feeling of familiarity, as if he has met those eyes before in similar circumstances. “If you are what I think you are, then we can teach you a specific skill set, one you can use to protect those you love.” Galahad very unsubtly glanced around the room, his eyes falling on the piles of stolen merchandise, the beer cans and bottles gathered in the corner of the kitchen. Eggsy drew himself up, refusing to let himself feel small.

 

Galahad turned back to Eggsy. “I believe we can engage in a partnership that is beneficial for the both of us.”

 

Eggsy raised his chin. “I got a question for you first.”

 

Galahad raised an eyebrow. Eggsy took that as permission. “What’s your name? Your real one, I mean.”

 

Because Eggsy hadn’t forgotten all the stories his mum told him when he was small, for all they were hazy now. He knew names were important, that they held power. There was no way he was going into this without every possible advantage.

 

Galahad actually grinned, looking incredibly pleased while Percival just looked appalled. It was really unfair, Eggsy mused, how attractive that grin made Galahad. His eyes fucking twinkled for Christ’s sake.

 

“My name is Harry Hart. And it is truly a pleasure to meet you, Eggsy.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> the reference to global warming and Arthur's impotence is a trope taken from early celtic literature and early versions of the Grail story. basically, the king is wounded (usually in the groin) and his lack of fertility is reflected in the land, which becomes a desolate wasteland until the king can be restored, which is sometimes through the reinsertion of the lance which originally wounded him. so yeah, the king's power is restored by a giant stick being shoved in his groin.


End file.
